beginnings of ventures

satisfaction may be safe, but it kills the spirit.

      Life can be static. Those who live it can become comfortable, feeling safe that the path they are on and the choices they have made so far are the right ones. This is a good place to be. Arriving at this destination is an accomplishment for many, a signal to themselves and the world that they have followed their hearts and their dreams and gotten somewhere. Well done, I say. I'm nearly there myself. I am mere months away from having my first college degree in hand. Soon after, I'll hopefully have a job and tasks and responsibilities. And that scares me. It's not that my youth is slipping away from me. Age is only a number, after all. My true concern lies in the fact that with comfort comes dissatisfaction.


     Humans come alive in struggle, in working against some kind of opposition. Winning or losing is mostly irrelevant, unless lives are on the line, such as in the case of a political revolution or the effort to single-handedly provide for one's family. For most cases, human worth is defined by the effort he or she puts in to the struggle. Shortly after hitting that comfy sweet spot in a life, once the endorphins wear off, boredom sets in. There's nothing to work for. Nothing to win. Nothing to struggle and lose, nothing worth rising up from the ashes of that loss to prevail.


     My fear is that I  will reach a place without anything for which to fight. A place in which I will be satisfied with life as is. I never want to reach this destination. Ideally, some aspects of my life will reach this stage and I can relax in the knowledge that I am going to be safe and healthy for the duration of the knowable future. But if my whole mind and spirit rests in that comfort, the core of me will rot like so much compost.

     I want adventures. I want to find myself situations that make me nervous and uncomfortable and sweaty. I want to be at a loss for words, to be frustrated, to wonder how in the world I ended up here and how the hell I am going to get out. 

     Because life is not about a destination. Those are nice, but in the end, it is only a place.